Living in highly competitive society can misguide us on doing our job as parent. Parents tend to compare their kids with other kids, it become the subject of their social discussion. Especially if the kids are the same age, it is so obvious the parents are pressing them selves to compete.
Honestly, I like to discuss about each parent parenting style to their child, especially if I notice their children are doing well socially and academically. There must be some good tips that the parent can share with me. I appreciate this conversation more than just a negative competition. Therefore sometimes I tend to avoid social setting that can lead into the competitive discussion between parents about the children.
First of all, it is not healthy. I believe every child is unique, they have their own phase on gaining knowledge. Some are fast some are not considered fast. There are many aspect contribute to the quality of learning of every child, it might probably genetic factor or simply by the growing up factor set by the parents. Therefore there is no point of comparing kids to another kids.
Secondly, if you compare them in front of the kids, can you imagine how the kids will feel. It can create two aspect to the 2 children that are being compared, inferiority complex or superiority complex. Both are negative impact to the child in my opinion and I don’t like that.
Thirdly, when we compare our kids in front of the kids himself, It will create a negative competitive attitude. The kids will love to compete and being obsessed of it. Every time is a competition they need to proof to other people that they can do better for the rest. The main motivation to perform is to compete. To me, I rather introduce the concept of *Doing your BEST is for your own self GOOD things*. *Doing your best* is no longer needed for compete, but to complete our own selves. It is our own obligation to our selves to give our best with or without people knowing it. It is your own personal responsibility to do your best.
Point No. 3 is very crucial I think and this is the value system I want to implement to my daughter. She is doing her best NOT to compete, but to answer it to her own self one day.