What I mean here, parenting is a job that does not require any official performance appraisal. At work by certain period of time, you will have your boss calling you to his room or cubical to discuss your performance. They can exactly tell you which area you need to improve and which are you area doing well. They can even give you score that generate your next paycheck.
The same goes in school! they have report card! Everything is written there … score, rank, achievement etc etc. Everything is based on your test result and each of the result are being recorder continuesly so that we can learn every time which area we need to improve.
Now … when come to parenting! do we have anyone come to our door … knock knock …
“btw … mrs. X, this is your parenting report card, you can read through the manual and see area need to be improved and area that you are already doing very well!”
How I wish this can actually happened, unfortunately, there is no such thing in this life. Parenting is a big mystery it is our own personal choice to take it seriously or take it light.
Some parent take it seriously, they put their best effort to do their parenting, sometimes they go extra miles and it is not easy at times. Obstacles, challenges and expectation can be very rough. It is not a smooth sailing after all, it requires a lot high discipline from the parent as well as the role model for the kids.
Like some of parents at Kumon whom I met, a lot of them told me …
“How could we tell our kids certain things If they can see us not doing it ….”
Kids are smart now a days, they evaluate their parent’s performance too … sometimes they ask our parenting authority if they think it is not consistent or correct. Believe me! I am facing this at times although my daughter is only 6 years old. She question me Why? And Why not! When I raise my voice she can even raise her’s even lauder. When this thing happened I usually take this as the best opportunities to evaluate myself.
I sit down when the opportunities allowed and analyze what just happened between me and my daughter. Sometimes I go to the web and browse to find out the answer. If it is to big and serious I will run to book to read and see what they said about this certain behavior. I take this as a reflection for myself. Something I have to solve …. Because I care so much for my daughter especially her future.
I know I can just give up … let it go, take it easy and said que sera sera …. what ever will be will be … IT is much easier to live on. You don’t have to stress out yourself, you feel good and life goes on.
But … would I do that … would I neglect the importance of instill the importance value of parenting to my child. And let her face it herself one day …. let her learn the hard way …. would I do that?
Is that what parenting for …. let your child learn the hard way themselves? … just like in animal kingdom, their child is free to explore the life themselves.
I don’t know … but my conscious said No! So I listen to my heart and continue to do my best for the sake of my daughter future.
PS: when things getting tough, i like to reflect and see inside me to find the true answer.