Grades take priority over graciousness, Channel NewsAsia

via Grades take priority over graciousness, say students – Channel NewsAsia.

this is not GOOD definetelly but this is a reality that is happening here in our little island we call home, Singapore.

grading, good school, good university, good job, good post, good tittle … everything with {GOOD} are so important to focus on their life time.

kids grow up with these attitude toward life as they grow up, including my daugther. we live in the society, we breathe the air and we embrase the challange this society had shaped and given to our every day life.

HOWEVER, it is so unreasonable if we simply blame the society for what is happening out there. society is too big, it is too MACRO for us to put our control. as PARENT, home would be the first model society for our kids to see.

things start from HOME …. and HOME is always in the right direction when we want to be fully in control. from HOME there are so much we can adjust and allign for our children’s benefit.

we can even take the SOCIETY in general as a sample for discussion at home, so that our children can take the positive value from it.

Graciousness is always possible within the higly competitive society, provided as parent we also put an emphasize on it from home.

Manner is a part of it, as a moslem family, we put extra effort to introduce specific manner based on Islam to our daughter by sending her to weekend extra class about Islam and the way of life of it.

we also emphasize her to actually take the elder hand {if they are happened to be moslem} and put it on her forehead as a showing of respect, everytime she met an elderly. it might be a small gesture, but it is very important for her to understand. and if they are not a moslem, i make a point to tell her to greet them … “Good morning uncle, good morning aunty, good morning koko, good morning cece etc”. even when we step out from a taxi or a bus, me and my husband make a point to give her example by saying *thank you* to the driver and ask her to follow through.

my husband also emphasize that when she join primary school, it is always good to let her join the girl scout, the brownish … not just competeting form of activity alone. she needs to understand to work in a group, to lead within the group, to win as group … not solely for her personall winning/ achievement only.

we also plan to put her on the community work. my husband is an active leader within the muslim community. sometimes we follow our husband to the activities to see how the things going. over there my daughter see, that her dad still wash the floor of the mosque when it is necessary for him to do it because of the lack of manpower. my hubby said ” before you lead other, you must SHOW other you can lead yourself FIRST”. role modeling is one way we beleive a good way of teaching value to our daughter.

we also want her to get involve with community work one day, so she learn the misfortune other have in their life. going to the orphanage, elderly house or even hospital will open up her eyes that LIFE is not always GOOD as she thinks it is. and what it is from HER that can contribute in a good way to the society.

…. everyday is busy, but a little drip of focusing in life and alligning is IMPORTANT ….